WIT & WISDOM FROM THE COMMANDER:

                                          Far-fetched is here now.             

      Shampoo is not fake shit (but it is  a funny word).

                                                       Fantasizing is not measuring orange soda.                                                                       

  Dreams starts with a D. Faith starts with an F. Car starts with a key.

Hope is just Peho spelled backwards (and inside-out). 

Lunatic is not a moon parasite

Bush is an idiot.

Forks are for losers

Cold Cream does not give you colds.

Life is what happens before you die.

Nothing is perfect (unless it's perfect).

Today is the day before tomorrow.

Because I said so.

Fear is our second cousin (once removed).

If retail is to sell something again, why isn't wholesale tail ?

Bush is an idiot.

What's the opposite of Dog Woman Don't ?

A fiend is a friend without the R.

Crime may not pay, but Babysitting does.

Sublime is not under lime.

I am a Cretian. No Cretians are super-heroes.

What is Good Grief ?

Bush is an idiot.

If a Food Processor minces meat, does a Word Processor mince words ?

Ubiquitous begins with you.

Forever is longer than that.

Say "Selfish Shellfish"  3 times fast.

Why isn't Dundant doing something for the first time ?

It's just like that...only different.

I think, therefore I am depressed.

If it was up your ass you'd know it.

What's the difference between a duck ?